Protip

"CB" (jrcb) 02/12/2019 at 18:51 • Filed to: Hand over your license you're too dumb to drive

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Just because you’re picking someone up doesn’t give you the right to block the roadway, then get accusatory when asked to move so others can pass you. “Well, are you picking someone up?” Yes, I’ve already picked her up, move. And even if I wasn’t, you’re not special, stop blocking the roadway. Keep moving until the person is ready, or figure out how to park your pickup.

The Dummy Gummy > CB 02/12/2019 at 19:00

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Those people bug me and so do the ones that use two lanes (and not the turn lane or suicide lane) to make a turn. 

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CB 02/12/2019 at 19:03

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I personally love the people — you know the ones — that when they pick up their friend/coworker/spouse, they park in the road, with the truck running, and fucking HONK their horn to notify the world that they are waiting. And then they honk again in 30 seconds. And then perhaps they’ll honk TWICE after another 15 seconds.

7am? Honk!

11pm? Honk!

Park my truck and go to the door? Hummmm how about HONK!

Or just call or text? What part of HONK did you miss?

Chariotoflove > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/12/2019 at 19:06

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Go out, get in, and say, “Sorry I’m late, the hair dryer was on the fritz again. Where are we eating?”*

*suitably modify this plan if the honker looks dangerous.

Dash-doorhandle-6 cyl none the richer > CB 02/12/2019 at 19:19

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smobgirl > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/12/2019 at 20:15

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I have a new neighbor in the duplex across the street. As far as I can tell, he’s much less interested in pyrotechnics than the last one, but his ride does this EVERY. MORNING. And the guy is neeevvveerrrrr ready when his ride shows up. 

smobgirl > CB 02/12/2019 at 20:17

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It is not at all uncommon where I live to just stop in the middle of the street to wait for someone. Not in the empty curb spot in front of their house, but NEXT to it. Bonus points if you’re in a contractor van or pickup angled to block the entire road.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > smobgirl 02/12/2019 at 20:32

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It's totally unnecessary. And just rude. A good neighbor is seldom seen and never heard.

TheRealBicycleBuck > CB 02/12/2019 at 21:49

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This is my favorite:

Can’t see it? Enhance...

As you probably guessed, it’s between 7 & 9 am, about 7:30 to be exact.

This is a problem on every road in downtown Houston. It’s not just the constables. Everyone, from city workers to average entitled a-holes, blocks either the left-most or right-most lanes during rush hour. They usually stop, throw on their flashers, then run into the shop they parked in front of to grab a snack or some coffee.

gogmorgo - rowing gears in a Grand Cherokee > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 02/12/2019 at 22:22

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I used to live on the ground floor of my college dorm  building, right next to the main entrance. The loading zone was right outside my bedroom window. The pain is real.

One Saturday morning, a silver Chrysler 300 that I recognized as a repeat offender rolled up at around 7:3 0am. I’d been up way late the night before, and wasn’t in the mood. After about the 10th honk I got up and walked straight outside in the shorts I slept in, barefoot and shirtless, brandishing the 3/8"-drive ratchet I picked up off the kitchen counter on my way out the door. I walked up to the dude who was smoking with his window down, and calmly pointed to my bedroom window with the ratchet, and said “that’s my bedroom. Every appart ment has a phone. If you don’t have a cell, there’s one in the entrance. If I hear you honk once more, I’ll fix your car so it can’t.” And then I walked back into the building. I never noticed if he did honk after that, but it was very satisfying.